Monologue by Jawharah Madani
Hello, my name is Emma and I’m about 69. Did I mention my name is Emma? I live just down the road and I remember when I was 12 I did this super bad crime and if I remember properly, it went something like this. Wait did I mention that I live just down the road, Oh, I’m sure I didn’t, let me re-assure you that you can come to my house any time you want but just remember its 445 or was it 435? Oh, it doesn’t matter because that was my mum’s friend’s daughter’s sister’s husband’s friend’s wife’s sister’s house. Or was it her son’s? Oh he’s such a bright person.
So, when I was 13 or 14 or was it 15 I thought I was the richest and luckiest girl on e–. Wait I remember now it’s when I was 12 years old! I thought that I was all cool because I put myself in the freezer. Everyone said I lived life to the max. Or was it to mac? So, I took my dad’s debit card. Or was it my mum’s debit card? Wait was it a debit or credit card? So, I was listening to people’s comments and I went to T.K.MAX to live my life to the max or was it to the tax?
I went to the cash thing and I clicked random buttons, mostly the bottom ones. Or was it the top ones? I typed my dad’s password. Then it made a katching sound. Then when I took my dad’s debit card out. Or was it my mum’s debit card? Wait was it a debit or credit card? Wait did I mention that I was Emma? The cash thing kept bringing out these brown paper things. I assume that it was brown toilet paper but it has the number 50 on it. So, I thought I should just take them anyway.
Here’s the best bit I went to a bargain store or was it a JD store? All I remember after that is that I had 12 bags in my hands with all the different logos on them! I was happy but these people came and took them off me and I was too old to go after them. Or was I too young? Wait I remember, I ran after them and I got all the 11 bags back and boys, or were they men? Were drowned or were they shot? Wait did I say I had 11 bags? Yes, I had 11 bags but 1 bag with the massive Primark logo on it was thrown in the river or was it burnt?
My poor handbag got thrown in the river, luckily all my brown paper was in my pocket. But when I passed that cash thing it was still giving out free brown paper but nobody wanted it or was there a big crowd around it? I think that day I went a little deaf because of all the screaming that had been happening and I fell to the ground or was it to the floor? Aren’t they the same thing? All I could remember after that was that I woke up in a white place. And I was in a bed that was also white and I had a needle that was green stuck up my wrist and this green oval with air in it on my mouth. A few seconds later I had a big crowd surrounding me.
Now I know the meaning of life and I know now that to be cool is not to put yourself in the freezer, or was it the fridge? Life is all about family and friends. Or is it friends and family? I know it’s about both. And no matter what you do you should always be forgiven or was it forbidden? At least that’s what my dad said when I gave him back his CREDIT card not debit card. My dad was amazing at math. Or was it in science? He said the total I have taken out is £275,750 and that he didn’t care about the money, the only thing he cared about is that I lived.